Birthday

Screenshot 2019-04-10 at 10.57.56

Birthday

I just turned 40. So far I have to say it’s the best age I have even had. I have no idea how 50 will feel but so far the further the better. And I am sure when I am 100 years old I will say the same thing somehow.

What I feel is that I made the full circle. Or may be the spiral. I came back from being all natural to again wearing high heels, silky tight outfits, stockings, red nails and red lipstick and I do feel like a goddess as a result of this. Quite unexpectedly I have to say. And I am amazed how life constantly flows and changes, and how I flow and change with it.

My friend asked me on the day of my birthday: “ how do you feel?” And I told her I feel quite confused – I have no idea what is right and what is wrong anymore, how things are supposed to be and I have zero understanding of relationships and how they work. Really. No f*cking idea. Sometimes when people do certain things I go blank. I internally go through the process of feeling like I need to object or express my truth to just letting the others be as they are in their total expression and honestly, I have no idea anymore whether that expression is right or not. It’s just what it is.

My friend told me: “wow, this is the best place to be as where there is confusion, there is no control, and it’s perfect”. I am so grateful for your words, my amazing @birutebartkute, they made me suddenly see the gift in this confused state of mine.

I had the best birthday ever. Had lots of wine, laughed with friends, had French food at magical Piquenique32 , killed my feet with stilettos and danced swing with so many gentlemen at The Ned London. Looking forward to the next decade!

Follow me

Latest posts by Lera Mimizu (see all)

Comments

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *